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Rules for Hunting Lawyers
Hunting Rules for Lawyers
This years Lawyer Season and Bag Limit regulations:
1. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free scotch" for the purpose of trapping lawyers.
2. It shall be unlawful to hunt lawyers within 50 yards of Micro$oft buildings.
It shall be unlawful to hunt lawyers within 100 yards of BMW, SAAB or Mercedes dealerships.
It also shall be unlawful to hunt lawyers within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, ambulances or hospitals.
3. It shall be unlawful to use $100 bills, prostitutes, software license agreements or vehicle accidents to attract lawyers.
4. It shall be unlawful to chase, herd or harvest lawyers from a snow mobile, helicopter or aircraft.
5. Killing lawyers with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead lawyer to roadside and proceed to the nearest car wash.
6. Stuffed or mounted lawyers must have a state health department inspection sticker.
7. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, female legale cleark, Micro$oft employee, accident victim, bookie or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting lawyers.
8. Taking lawyers with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
9. Varios bag limits are set for lawyers including:
Brown-nosed judge kissers...............2
Back-stabbing divorce litigators........4
Hairy-chinned civil libertarians........7
Two-faced tort chaser...................2
Micro$oft legal department member.......9
Yellow bellied sidewinders..............2
10.Note that honest lawyers are extinct.
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