What not to say if you get pulled over
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer
2. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
3. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to stay with me! Good job!
4. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
5. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
6. Bad cop! No donut!
7. You're not gonna check the trunk are ya?
8. Gee, that gut sure does inspire confidence.
9. Didn't I see you get your but kicked on cops?
10. So, uh, you on the take, or what?
11. Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning too!
12. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay just so one of us does.
13. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car on the around - that's how far ahead of me they are.
14. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" your the trained specialist.
15. Well, when I reached down to pick up my beer, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
16. Oh yeah? If you knew anything at all, you wouldn't BE just a traffic cop!
17. No, YOU 'assume the position,' Piggy.
18. I'm surprised you stopped me! Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
19. No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
20. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110.
21. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
22. Want to race to the station, Sparky?
23. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
24. On the way to the station, what's say we pick us up a six pack?
25. You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . you wuss!
26. Come on write the dang ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
27. Hey, wasn't that your daughter on Second Avenue ?
28. How long is this going to take? Your girlfriend is expecting me.
29. What do you use those rubber gloves for?"
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